After the Yankee Stadium Rally, I was placed on a witnessing team in Connecticut. I’m not sure why I wasn’t sent back to Wisconsin. The leader of the team I was on was the same person who had been in charge of the Chicago center when I had joined. He was quite strict. Although I was a passionate witnesser, I had poor time management skills and was often late for pick up, causing everyone to wait. The leader lost patience with me so often that I finally felt it would be better if I left. This is the only time I ever seriously considered leaving the church. It seemed to me that I was causing too many problems and everyone would be better off without me.
The day I decided to leave, I first went out fundraising with a sister. My weak plan was merely to walk away before the last pick-up. When she and I stopped for lunch, I thought, I may never see her again or any of my brothers and sisters. Let me connect more heartistically before I go. I asked her about her experiences in New York, preparing for the Yankee Stadium Rally. (I had stayed behind in Wisconsin to fundraise for the center bills and drove up just a day before the event.) She told me that New Yorkers are very blunt and members were cursed and kicked out of many places. One day True Father had gathered everyone and asked how it was going. Then he said,” I wish that I could pay all of the indemnity myself so that you would not have to.” Hearing True Father’s words, I felt that he was saying those words to me at that very moment; I began to cry and cry. True Father already knows my heart, my difficulty. He would willingly take it all upon himself if it were possible. How could I ever leave such a true man, my True Father? I returned to the center with new resolve to persevere.
Some time later a call went out for volunteers to go to MFT (Mobile Fundraising Team). I volunteered, wanting to do whatever True Father needed. Strangely, my leader was angry with me. I guess his nature was to get angry easily.
I joined the first fundraising team that was led by students from UTS (Unification Theological Seminary). We drove across the country from DC to CA. The West Coast is dramatically different from the East Coast. I grew up in Pennsylvania which embodied a strong Protestant ethic: work hard, be serious. California was party, party, party! Very image conscious, friendly but in a superficial way. (I apologize to Californians; this was my impression.) I fundraised various products up and down the CA coast for 5 years. My experiences could fill another book. I am deeply grateful for the time I was on MFT; it was like a kindergarten where one can learn to live and apply the Divine Principle every day.
Most of the time I worked alone fundraising which I preferred. We had many different kinds of products to sell. One stretch we sold carnations at stop lights. It was dry and very hot (100 degrees or more), but standing beside cars with their engines running magnified the heat. What does one do in between lights? All that valuable time. I decided to write a song about True Father’s life. I didn’t know much about creating an original tune, so I borrowed one that I liked and rewrote the lyrics: ‘Killing me Softly with His Song”
It took me many months or even a year to finish this song; I could only work on it at stop lights when the light was green. It was a great way to keep my mind uplifted.
Years later I was able to sing it for True Father.
At least twice I have performed a short play with this song with my Sunday School youth. A small choir sings. The verses are interspersed with narration about True Father’s life and youth act out the parts - a young True Father slipping money into a fellow student’s pocket; cutting the hair of beggars, and reading a newspaper account of a boy’s suicide, then crying.
At the end of the play, during the last verse, people stand up in the audience, walk out to the aisles then onto the stage to participate in a blessing (two Sunday School youth wearing crowns stand on chairs, pretending to sprinkle water on couples as they walk by.) It has been very well received with cheers of “Monsei!” at the end.
True Father’s Life
When he was just a young boy
He saw the pain of man
And prayed each day, “Dear God,
please help me understand
Why is there so much suffering?
Can’t I ease my brother’s sorrow?
Father, Your children are crying,
Dying not knowing Your love
How can that be when abounding
Your love surrounds me
Creation, a testimony
Of Your love flowing so free
Can’t they see?”
One early Easter morning
Upon a mountain side
In icy snow, the young boy
Knelt alone and cried
His prayer was so determined
Then Jesus came before him,
“Young brother, my task is not finished
Your help God and I ask of thee
Mankind’s still in bondage to satan
Can you become Gods true champion,
God’s true son to set me free?
God asks thee.”
At first he hesitated
Such magnitude this task
Could it be possible
to fulfill what God had asked?
But God’s plea so sincere-
It moved the young boy’s heart to tears,
“Oh, Father, I cannot refuse You
I pledge I’ll accomplish Your will
I’ll fight to the death and beyond
Whatever I need to
Dear Father, I won’t disappoint You
Your true son I shall become
Thy will be done.”
Through trials and suffering so deep
I cannot bear to tell
This one man persevered alone
Through darkest hell
Even God turned away,
but nothing could make this man sway.
“Oh Father, I promised I‘d endure
My love and faith now proven pure
I've broken the chains that have bound men
Opened the gates to Your kingdom
Calling Your children to follow
I’ll lead the home
This story is not finished
It’s only just begun
Of those who heard his words
and followed- I am one
And you who listen-
Are you too the ones
on your way home
Oh Father, your children are coming
Home at last, home to Your heart
We gratefully offer our whole lives
To follow Your true son and his bride
The whole world we’ll bring back
to Your side
One family we’ll be eternally
Amen, allelujah, amen
Father, Your true son has freed us
To new life he leads us
Your heart shall be healed
and our hearts be one- with Your son
Your kingdom’s come-